Dear Father,
A new day. Even an extra hour as the clocks fall back for earlier light. I grin and I think I want that light but mostly for my spiritual self Father. We don't live in a world of black and white but many variances of shades of grey. As I read and study your word I find I'm not the smartest tool in the shed because for some reason I am not able to pull it all together and I get depressed, tired and weary. My brain is dense within me. I have heard it referred to as grey matter. I can read, but comprhension is another subject. I get the basics, especially the 10 commandments. However I find I can't turn this way or that without breaking one of them or being capable of teaching truth to my children. I have not been a healthy example to them. I have failed. My weakness's have hurt my children and me. It is better I let go and let You teach them as I have never been able too. I am as the man who stands on sand rather than a rock. I know that to my sorrow.
So much for now Father as the day's work creeps in on me as I hear Mother stirring. Be with me and let the Holy Spirit guide me as I go today fighting the depression that fills me. I feel very much alone and grab on to Isiah 54. My dreams have all crumbled Lord and I assume it is because it is not what You desired for me. I start a new day and I look for new life in You. I pray for your direction to move this way or that or to be still. For now I will be still, take care of an ailing mother. This is the day You have made, let me rejoice and be glad in it. In Jesus name I pray. Amen